Breaking the Habit
by angeleyenc
Summary: MAJOR TISSUES! I don't know what's worth fight for or why i have to scream... Sam knew the moment bobby and dean closed the door that he was far off the edge. He Screamed.


Disclamer: i don't own anything!! I got inspired from linkin parks song "Breaking the habit" It reminded me of Sam and his addiction to demon blood so here it is!

takes place after 4.20. and maybe during 4.21. tissue alert!! major!!!

_Memories concern  
Like opening the wound  
Im picking me apart again  
You all assume  
Im safer in my room  
Unless I try to start again_

As soon as Bobby closed the door Sam began to scream. He screamed until he couldn't anymore and let the tears fall or did they fall while he was screamng. He couldn't remember anymore.

But all he knew was that he was far over the edge and knew as soon as Dean saw him drinking the blood of a demon. He put his head in his hands and let the tears fall until he fell asleep.

_I dont want to be the one  
Who battles always choose  
Cuz inside I realize  
That Im the one confused_

All through the night Sam dreamed but it wasn't pleasant dreams. He began to thrash about on his cot. All he could see was his own face but it wasn't the same. His eyes were that of black. Nothing was the best word to describe his face. No emotion, just nothing. Then he saw a girl but she had white eyes. Lilith. It seemed that she was possessing a woman this time instead of a child. She held her hand out to him and he took it. But as soon as he did he felt pain, unimanagable pain. Sam screamed. His arms felt like they were on fire. He looked down and saw black vines or was it veins start to crawl up his arms and choke him.

_I dont know whats worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream_

Sam continued to scream but no words came out. It was all silent screaming, silent sobs, silent everything. He looked up into Lilths face but it wasn't her face anymore. It was Deans.

_I dont know why I instigate  
And say what I dont mean  
I dont know how I got this way  
I know its not alright  
So Im breaking the habit  
Im breaking the habit tonight_

Sam tried to let go but he couldn't, no matter how hard he tried to let go Dean still held on. The look on Dean's face was anger, pain, sadness, then nothing just like Sam. Sam tried to open his mouth to speak but it refused to open. Sam fell to his knees still gripping Deans hand then darkness took him. But the last thing he saw and heard was Dean kneeling down next to Sam and whispered, "Goodbye little brother." Then all was black.

_Cultured my cure  
I tightly lock the door  
I try to catch my breath again  
I hurt much more  
Than anytime before  
I have no options left again_

The next time Sam opened his eyes was a bright light almost blinding him. His eyes adjusted to it and then he saw afigure coming toward him. As the figure got closer he started to recognize who it was. The person was middle aged and was partly bald and then he noticed the eyes. They were white. Allistar. Sam tried to move but found he couldn't he looked down and saw he was strapped to a table with the bindings having strange symbols on them. 'no,' he thought. "Well, well, Sammy Winchester. Finally." Then Allistair stabbed him with Ruby's knife and Sam screamed.

_I dont want to be the one  
Who battles always choose  
Cuz inside I realize  
That Im the one confused _

He didn't know how long he screamed before Allistair dissappeared and came back with someone else. A woman. she walked into the light and it was Ruby with a big smile attaached to her face. "No! no!, not you!" Sam begged. pleaded. Then Ruby struck hard and Sam screamed.

_I dont know whats worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
I dont know why I instigate  
And say what I dont mean  
I dont know how I got this way  
Ill never be alright  
So, Im breaking the habit  
Im breaking the habit tonight_

Sam all but thrashed about on the cot layed out for him. He arched his back and his arms were spread apart almost like his was tied up on that table again when the ghouls were trying to eat him. Bobby watched in horror through the window as Sam screamed and tears ran down his face. He immediately yelled "Dean!" as loud as he could.

_Ill paint it on the walls  
Cuz Im the one that falls  
Ill never fight again  
And this is how it ends_

Dean had heard Sam scream hell he felt Sam screaming. At first, he tried to ignore it. God help him he tried to. But the screaming never stopped. Then Bobby yelled for him. He flew out of his chair almost stumbling from the alcohol in his system but he made it down the stairs to the panic room.

_I dont know whats worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
But now I have some clarity  
To show you what I mean  
I dont know how I got this way  
Ill never be alright  
So, Im breaking the habit  
Im breaking the habit  
Breaking the habit tonight_

Dean immedatley sobbered up as soon as Bobby pulled him to the window and Dean's eyes widened with absolute horror and panic etched onto them. Tears immedatley formed onto his face and he immedatley opened the door and went in. He didn't know if bobby came in with him all he could see was Sam and his thrashing on the bed and silent screams of pain. Which were worse because no sound was coming out. Dean fell to his knees right next to Sam and picked up his little brother and hugged him to his chest with all his might. Tears fell freely now. Everything was letting out.

Dean screamed. Then "I'm sorry Sam" was whispered.

Please tell me what you thought? You guys might need tissues..


End file.
